Some pond life has broken into Aunty Biscuits garden shed.  I had visions of a frog with a swagbag, mask and stripy jumper making a hopping getaway until it was explained to me that it is just an expression for a particular type of person.  The incident has been flagged as slightly irritating and a tad inconvenient,  The perpetrator appears to have made off with the following items:-

An elderly plastic tool box from when she went on archaeological digs (about 15 years ago), containing a stick with yards and yards of string wrapped around it.  A 8H pencil with a snapped point.  An old hand held metal detector probably by now with a corroded battery, some plastic plant tabs, a by now probably dried up waterproof marker, a compass, paintbrush, spatulas and a drop forged trowel.  There may or may not also have been a small bottle of hand sanitiser and possibly even a pocket pack of tissues.

A bottle and a half of paint pod paint -circa 2010. pale peach colour and left over from a bedroom decoration.

A tin each of yacht varnish and  woodworm treatment that she couldn't get the lid open on anyway, a bottle of the stuff you put on hydrangeas to make them change colour and a jar of a purer stuff (she uses the latter for mordanting wool) and a couple of other bottles of plant food /weed killer.  There may possibly be some equally valueless items taken that are too unmemorable to be missed. For some inexplicable reason they have failed to take her large selection of empty jam jars that people have donated.  My view of this is that whoever it was that broke in is very naughty and deserves to have their bottom smacked, although they have possibly saved her a trip to the tip.

The only thing that they took of any remote value was the £9.99 (when new) shelf that they were stood on so our consolation is that it will have cost the thief more in petrol than they have gained.  That said if you are offered a secondhand 8H pencil with a snapped tip to buy, insist that you see any previous receipts, you can't be too careful.

On a more serious (i.e. irritating and slightly inconvenient is that one of the 4mm needles from the intermittent jumper has gone missing.  Fortunately it wasn't in the shed so paws crossed it will turn up.